Do I Still Need This Thing?

Appendices are a good thing; most of the time, they help us to find exactly what we're looking for in a book. They lurk all the way in the back, out of sight until we need them. But there's a different kind of appendix, a "vestigial" one that causes more problems than we would like. 'vesti-wha?' you say. Well, a vestigial organ is reasoned to be a leftover and now defunct part of the body whose origins are from a pre-evolved species of mankind. One example of this kind of organ is the appendix which is a narrow tube of flesh located at the junction of the large and small intestines. For many years, most medical experts have asserted that the appendix serves no function whatsoever. What's bad about the appendix is that it is susceptible to becoming infected, which can in turn lead to death if left untreated. What's with this pesky organ? It seems like such a useless nuisance which can put more than a damper on a good party.

Much like this surreptitious organ, I feel as though there are parts of my Christian life which are vestigial in nature as well as potentially harmful. Recently, I've been undergoing a significant paradigm shift regarding both my faith and practice. This current process has actually been years in the making. Specifically, it's a shift from evangelicalism to well, something of which the details haven't been worked out yet. I haven't entirely figured out where I'm going as of now, but wherever it is, it is a place that is devoid of some key evangelical staples. For instance, the idea of biblical inspiration as espoused by evangelicals is that there are no major contradictions in the Bible; if there were then that would seriously call into question whether or not it is the product of divine inspiration. If it isn't, then our faith would become untenable and Christianity would then fall like a house of cards. For this reason, some evangelicals hold to the theory of Verbal Plenary Inspiration (VPI). It posits that though the authors of the bible wrote in their own language and in the context of their own cultures, God inspired them to write (verbal) everything (plenary) that he desired and that furthermore these writings, provided that they are interpreted accurately, are free from errors of fact, doctrine or judgment. If you're familiar with major textual problems that scholars are still tackling to this day, you'll know that VPI theory has some major flaws. Yet and still evangelicals strain, sometimes to a ridiculous degree, to make the Bible fit together in a way that seems coherent. Sadly, their efforts to do this have resulted in some questionable and perhaps even dishonest treatments of the Bible text itself. I could go on, but I'll shelve much of what I have to say for a future date. But let me conclude by saying that though I know that many problematic textual issues exist within the Bible canon, I still believe that it has been born of divine inspiration. I do hold the Bible in very high esteem, but where I differ with my evangelical counterparts is that I see a kind of fluidity and a large gray area within the text that leads me to believe that God allowed the Bible to be mysterious and confusing in certain parts for a very good reason. The best answer I have thus far for this is that God knows that (perhaps due to fear of the unknown) we are prone to develop and even idolize systems which help us make sense of the world. Rather than fully worshiping and trusting in him and allowing ourselves to have doubts for an extended period of time, we would rather lean on a system which we can largely understand. Especially as Westerners we're desperate to construct a coherent life paradigm in which all of the pieces congruently fit together. But we fail to see that often times we do this out of fear, from the very vestiges of a former life that God has actually rescued us out of. Though evangelicals will say that they believe that God is ultimately mysterious and beyond man's understanding, they assert that the Bible is unequivocally and absolutely clear on a number of issues (absolute innerrancy of historical events in Scripture, male headship, penal substitutionary atonement, etc.). But those who are somewhat comfortable with doubt and letting God define the boundaries of life know that the evangelical system is constricting and unnecessarily divisive. More often than not, I find that evangelicalism gives rise to a sort of cognitive dissonance which allows hypocrisy to creep in. One can point to a number of recent scandals within mainline denominations to see the veracity of this claim.

One twist in my process of de-conversion, so to speak, has to do with our aforementioned pal, the appendix. Recent research has shown that this organ may actually serve a much-needed function within the body; it's a sort of bacteria hub which reboots the body's beneficial bacteria cultures if something goes awry. In an analogous way, I can't completely cast off or denigrate evangelicalism as a whole. Though I'm in the process of shedding some of the hindrances of the movement, I have to be careful to not throw the baby out with the bathwater. In The Real Scandal of the Evangelical Mind Trueman lists four features which define the faith of those involved in the movement: conversionism (necessity of personal conversion), biblicism (very high view of the Bible), crucentrism (centered around the atonement) and activism (intentional effort must be expended in presenting the gospel). Though I am moving away from evangelicalism, I believe that these elements have enriched my life in ways that I am eternally grateful for. What I want to do now is to review and recast these in the light of what I'm currently learning and experiencing in my walk with God. More than this though is that I am connected with and committed to many evangelicals who are above all, sincere and loving Christians; I can't simply part ways with these people. Therefore, I believe that evangelicalism will be an integral part of my life from now until the end. My goal is not to de-convert evangelicals but rather to love and live with them in harmony; to respect their views and convictions as well as learn from them both on doctrinal and practical levels. It's a new day and we'll see where this journey leads me in due time.